HELP!

Sung to the tune of The Beatles - Help (of course)

HELP!
HELP! I NEED A DRINK, SOMEBODY
HELP! I'LL TAKE ANY VODIE
HELP! YOU KNOW I NEED A DRINK, HELP.

WHEN I WAS YOUNGER, SO MUCH YOUNGER THAN TODAY,
I USED TO HAVE A BEVERAGE EVERY SINGLE DAY.
BUT NOW THOSE DAYS ARE GONE, AND I'M COMPLETELY TURNED,
BUT IF I FIND I CHANGE MY MIND MY WALLETS GONNA BE BURNED

HELP ME IF YOU CAN, I'M FEELING SOBER
IT'S SO STRANGE NOT TO BE DRUNK AND FALLING OVER
NO MORE BEER GOGS, SO LOT LESS GIRLS ARE GO-ERS
WON'T YOU PLEASE, PLEASE HELP ME.

AND NOW MY LIFE HAS CHANGED IN OH SO MANY WAYS,
MY WEEKEND MORNS NO LONGER VANISH IN THE HAZE.
BUT EVEN THOUGH MY BODY FEELS SO CLEAN AND PURE,
I'M GONNA NEED A DRINK TONIGHT, LIKE I'VE NEVER DONE BEFORE.

HELP ME IF YOU CAN, I'M FEELING DOWN
HOW I WISH THAT I COULD GET THE NEXT DRINKS ROUND.
HELP ME, NOT TOO LOOSE MY DRINKING CROWN,
WON'T YOU PLEASE,
PLEASE HELP ME,
HELP ME,
HELP ME, OH.